A Kingdom Worthy of Thee

 

At this close of the year I conclude, again, at my desk, writing my litany of gratitude for the year that has passed.  While this year has included unimaginable success and the deepest sorrow that I’ve known in this life, it has also been abundant with the evidence of Nietzsche’s observation that, “the most massive characters are seared with scars.”  Given the inevitable, persistent, and generative commitment to the conduct of my life to which I pledge each day, my abiding gratitude is extended to both those who dealt the blows and applied balm to the scars.  Without both, the character cannot fully emerge.  And for this, I give thanks.

 

As we watched the year unfold, the polarization of the dark forces that are set on division and schism were amplified.  Wars between gender, political ideology, religion, and ethnicity; the cult of self-help experts activating enmity between people and relationships; and the aggressive attack on anyone or anything that did not conform to social memes rose to a cacophony in which the voice of reason, understanding, and reconciliation was unwelcome or overwhelmed.  Yet, against this raging storm, people of character and calm integrity held their ground, in the face of brutal derision and opposition, shielding the light from the calamitous winds.  And while we could argue that the dark is still raging, the constellation of light persists and, tho darkened, is not extinguished.  For this, I give thanks.

 

Uncertainty is the only certainty.  Or as Peter Crone so eloquently summarizes about the perception of the future, “I DON’T KNOW” is the ultimate wisdom.  While there are those who find uncertainty a paralytic, there are others who have, against seeming insurmountable odds, pressed forward.  Whether the commitment was to author texts to unveil new understanding, to speak truth into a maelstrom of falsehoods, to defend the vulnerable against exploitation, or to quietly persist in the face of constant accusation and diminishment, there were hosts of great souls who demonstrated the tenacity and indomitable nature of the unfettered human spirit.  For this, I give thanks.

 

I was recently gifted an insight by a woman who is a dreamer and seer.  She relayed to me an insight about my life and in it used the metaphor of a white horse to describe my youth and early adult life.  In her dream, “Free the White Horse” was written across the sky with a celestial voice reciting the same message.  As the horse was running in terror from a fearful creature, she stated that I didn’t come to the horses aid as quickly as she would have liked but, in the final moment, I allowed the horse to run to safety.  Time passed.  And in her dream, she said a dark horse, “fit for a king” returned – beautiful, confident, bold and unshakeable. 

 

As I heard this dream, I was reminded of Alexander’s Bucephalus – the most heroic horse in antiquity.  After King Philip rejected the horse as unbreakable, Alexander took on the challenge, not of breaking the horse, but becoming one with the horse’s spirit.  After seeing Alexander and Bucephalus in their grandeur, the king said to his son, “O my son, look thee out a kingdom equal to and worthy of thyself, for Macedonia is too little for thee.”  I found, in both the dream and the reflection on Alexander a beautiful benediction for this year.  Anything or anyone that uses fear of rejection, isolation, or loss as its currency is the fleeting white horse (including any chivalrous narrative of knights and white horses which infer conquest disguised as romance and love) and needs to be allowed to run away.  The only thing left standing is the Dark Horse Fit for a King.  For honoring the white horse for its service and for welcoming the Dark Horse, I give thanks.

 

The last joys and sorrows of 2024 have come and gone.  It is ours to determine whether they will become for us wisdom or suffering.  For the choice we have for either of these outcomes, I give thanks.  Happy New Year!

 

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Of Swords and Stones

 

Le Morte d’Arthur provides the foundation of one of humanity’s richest allegories.  Sir Thomas Malory, a self-proclaimed “knight prisoner”, gave us the iconic King Arthur, his Camelot, and aspirational Avalon, along with countless chivalric ideals.  Over the past 39 years, I’ve been given ample opportunity to reflect on these stories and interpose them with cautionary tales of Egypt’s Joseph, Persia’s Cyrus, Greece’s Alexander, Judea’s Jesus, and other idealists.  As I’ve considered these accounts, I’ve tried to unpack the essence that pervades social ideals which, by assent or osmosis have infiltrated my approach to the world.  And, aided by an intrepid guide, I’ve been able to observe some essential features of the stories that have instructed my unfolding limited understanding of life. 

 

Using the universal decipher of Integral Accounting, I’ve examined these stories to apprehend the dynamics they represent as well as understand the energetic traps they elucidate.  And while I will not belabor the method, for the first time initiate, to “triangulate” the essence of a thing, I examine its: a) animating matter and energy; b) perspectival context or community; c) animating narrative or ontology; d) value or hierarchical system; e) template or reproducible framework; and, f) implication for identity or essence.  Placing these in polarity when placed around a ‘wheel’, one can discern charged fields that are either polar or neutral which reveal latent energy within systems. 

 

Animating Energy:

In each of these stories, the protagonist is “chosen” by an exceptional feature that borders on the metaphysical extreme.  All the exceptionalism in these characters comes through a dream or a feat of the improbable.  From Joseph’s prophetic interpretation, to Cyrus’ prenatal foreboding that he will kill his grandfather, to Alexander’s taming of Bucephalus, to Herod’s murderous infanticide, to Arthur’s polar encounter with the sword entombed in lodestone, the inevitable conqueror, at an early age, was identified as exceptional through a challenge beyond their creation.  Prior to an age of ‘wielding the sword’ (actually or metaphorically), each was placed in conflict with an established order and thrust into a world of corruption.

Context:

The mere manifestation of the capacity in each of these characters placed fear and an impulse to exterminate in the minds of those who held power by force or by acclaimed ‘divine right’.  Before they had a chance to credential their moral essence by manifest evidence, they were placed into ‘conflict’ with those for whom their existence was seen as a threat.  And rather than engage in the conflict directly, their first impulse was to add discipline to their craft.  Applied regimented practice and scholarship, while enriching their capacity, merely added to the threat perceived by the incumbent powers.  While they were surrounded by those drawn to their gravitas, history offers no evidence of a robust circle of friends.

Ontology:

While each engaged in the scholarship of their period – including oral traditions, art, poetry, and wisdom (both practical and spiritual) – at early periods of their lives they were capable of critiquing both the defining social narrative and the limitations imposed thereby which would become that which they would unseat.  “Conventional wisdom” was the very ignorance that their evidence challenged to its core.  Praxis – not pattern – was their path to gnosis.  While they honored the traditions, they used them as the social cipher to indict abuse of power and prestige that gave rise to a multitude of social ills.

Hierarchy:

Fidelis usque ad mortem – faithful until death – is the inscription on the Mount of Olives where Jesus’ betrayal reportedly happened.  While fueled by fidelity and integrity, each of these individuals was betrayed by those closest to them.  It is with great fascination that I examine this particular feature as it masks an unexamined idolatry.  “Fidelity” is a double-edged sword.  While in a romantic ideal, we can celebrate the unwavering commitment to an immutable standard, as the inscription above suggests, it explicitly devalues its keeper.  In short, when the cause or the quest takes absolute hold, the pursuit of the quest takes on nearly suicidal obsession.  And, not surprisingly, this intrepid obstinance drives Joseph into prison on the accusation of a jealous woman, drives Cyrus and Alexander into Quixotic vengeance, motivates Jesus to go to Jerusalem at the Passover, and motivates Arthur to abandon Camelot for Lancelot’s reckoning.  “Being right” is more important than BEING. 

Template:

Recognizing that they were capable beyond the common consensus of achievement, each of these acted as equals rather than as “kings”.  Constantly striving to encourage the divine spark in others, they chose to serve alongside their fellows rather than lord over them.  Ironically, to a man, each of these acts of ‘servant leadership’ was ultimately used by others as a sign of weakness, derision, and ultimate treachery.  Their chivalry – a derivative of their value of fidelity to a cause greater than themselves – encouraged competition and striving rather than emulation.  Their self-effacing ethos was perceived and exploited as emasculation and, as a result, their ‘followers’ frequently became traitors.  Not surprisingly, each of these stories includes approximation of love, intimacy, and friendship but never the full expression thereof. 

Essence:

In life, none of these characters wrote their heroics into the annals of history.  While pathetic observers accused them of egotism by virtue of their achievements, none of them chronicled their greatest achievements allowing history to adjudicate their merits.  And while all the stories we have of each of these characters is a derivative of those who bore no direct witness to the men themselves, their essence lives on in its field effect.  The effect of their lives fueled countless chivalric orders, social memes, and acclaimed values.  But all of them died misunderstood (and in some cases reviled) by those that they loved the most.  Yet, through the mists of time, the purity of their spirit pierces the dark veil in which their life was often shrouded. 

 

Though ‘gifted’ and exceptional, each of these saw their life expendable – ironically devaluing what made them who they were placing the idolatry of a cause above their own life.  Though a threat to the social tyrannical order, they chose self-effacing advancement of their undeserving fellows to their own enrichment.  Though holding in respect the legacy of sages, they chose to allow others to chronicle their innate wisdom offering posterity no direct access to their real thoughts, dreams, and desires.

 

As I reflect on these stories I consider where the plaque of this archetype has sclerosed my experience of life.  What would a world look like if I embraced my uniqueness, ignored the social order, critiqued the dominant narratives, valued my life’s purest desires and experiences, embraced leadership, and offered explanation for the unfolding of life in my own terms?   What would it be like if each of us did the same.  Is it possible that our best expressions of selfless service, ‘unconditional love’, chivalry, and other celebrated ideals are in fact suffocating and extinguishing the best of, and in, us?  Society rewards the idolatry of ‘humility’ without measuring the cost of self-deprecating thoughts and actions. 

 

Great people of valor have stood in times of darkness and offered a light.  It’s time for that light to reflect off the drawn swords of those who are ready to blaze a trail for a better humanity and for a better experience of self.

 

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